Twisted Galaxies
by silverVOID
Summary: (A new version of the original Twisted Galaxies.). Rated T for violence and profanity. The Empire has been taken over by an past enemy, meanwhile on Earth, a ghost from Zim's past has come back to haunt him. The time has come for three to rise... and save the Twisted Galaxies. [TRILOGY]
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: To all you trolls who told me to remake the script version, I just wanna say, F*CK YOU. BE HAPPY.**

**As for you others, hello. I'm Mitsubi, the author of this fanfic. This is a remake of the original Twisted Galaxies, which can be found here- s/8704195/1/Invader-Zim-Twisted-Galaxies . I decided on remaking it, as a book version (trolls), to give more character description, because that was before I had a deviantART account to post pics of the characters. You may think this is a mere book version of TG, but you're wrong. This has added parts, and I'm making it better, because, let's be honest, the first chapters were horrible. The last chapters were pretty good, but the first chapters were so bad you just assume the whole story's bad. But enough about that- let's just get to the story already ;)**

**~sV**

**Twisted Galaxies**

**Prologue**

7:51:36, September 01. Location: Outer Space

"Are we there yet?!"

The irken turned to glare at the SIR unit, annoyed. "You know, you get bored awful easily for someone who spent have their life in a scrapheap."  
The SIR unit sighed. "Don't remind me of that place. It was horrible."  
"Okay... er, look on the bright side, we'll be there soon."  
"And how long will that take?"  
"I dunno, maybe another week?"  
"_Maybe_ another week?" he asked, doubt in his dark blue gaze.  
"You're the one with a built-in calculator in your head, you find out!" she snapped.  
He hesitated, calculating the answer. His antennae drooped.  
"Well?" she asked expectantly.  
"A week," he griped. "On the dot."  
"Never doubt the queen of sarcasm," she said, smirking.  
"You know, I still don't see why we have to go to this 'Earth' place." he muttered.

She stopped steering to look at him. "We're on a mission, remember?"

"A mission?"

She spun around. "Were you even listening to them?!"

He held up his hands in protest. "Hey, I just zoned about a bit. I heard Earth, danger, evil and war. That's it." he said.

"Wow, Anon, you have a really short attention span."

"What?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "How're we supposed to warn Zim if you don't even know what we're doing?" she asked. Anon leapt up in surprise.

"Zim?! Why Zim? Can't we get someone else? You know, with a brain?!" he shouted.

"They said him. He's our only hope," replied the irken, her ice-blue eyes narrowed.

"How? He's so-"

The irken turned on him angrily. "Will you just shut up about it already?!" Anon stared wide-eyed at the normally calm irken and bowed his head.

"Sorry, Mistress," he muttered.

She sighed. "It's alright. But you have to remember, he _is_ my-" she paused. The look on her minion's face clearly noted that he needed no reminder about her boyfriend. As soon as they met they developed an undying hatred for each other - hence the reason she changed the subject.

"Hey- hey look at this," she said, trying to stifle her laughter. "He's in the-" Anon pushed past her, looking at the screen showing Zim's location.

"-The United States of Ameri-" he broke off laughing, falling off his perch on his mistress's chair.

"It's so stupid!" the irken gasped, tears of laughter streaming down her face. "What type of country names itself-"

"DANGER MALFUNCTION." The ship's metallic voice filled the air, making the laughing pair wince and clutch their antennae. "SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT." The irken got back into her chair and typed fiercely at the keyboard. The ship turned wildly to the left.

"What's happening?!" whimpered Anon, clutching the arm of the chair for dear life.

"I don't know, the ship, it's-" She steered the ship the opposite direction, trying to break away from the gravitational pull, but in vain. There was a cracking sound as the ship's left wing broke off completely. The irken and android exchanged a look of dread as they plummeted down to the blue planet known as Earth.

"WHY WON'T THE EJECT BUTTON WORK?!" shrieked the irken as she pounded madly at the eject button. She stopped suddenly as she detected the acrid scent of smoke in the air, as well as a searing heat behind her. She turned around to see the flames licking at the back of her ship, creeping closer to where she and Anon were. She desperately steered the ship to the nearest source of liquid to put out the fire, but the loss of the left wing made the ship's flying lopsided. It twisted toward a small building with SKOOL painted on it in big letters.

"You've got to be kidding."

* * *

Groaning kids walked zombie-like into their classes as the bell rang throughout the hall. A strange green-skinned child at the back of the group followed confidently, eyeing the other kids suspiciously, As he was entering the room, he failed to notice the foot stretched in front of him. He tripped and fell flat on his face, his wig falling off and rolling a few feet away.

"Stupid Dib-hyoo-man!" he snarled, picking himself up and reaching for his wig, but Dib leaned down and snatched in from his grasp.

"See?! This proves that Zim is an alien!" he yelled, holding the wig in the air triumphantly. "Why else would he need a wig?!"

"Maybe he has cancer," muttered Zita, rolling her eyes at her big-headed classmate. Melvin, who somehow heard her from across the room, jumped out of his seat and screamed.

"NOOOO! CHILD CANCER! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" He opened the window and jumped out of it. His screams faded out to a loud crash, and everyone cringed at the sound. Zim took that moment to take the wig back, putting it onto his head and smirking at Dib. But as soon as the sound died off, they began talking again like nothing happened. Unbeknownst to them, Ms. Bitters entered the room, scowling. She glared at the talkative children and shivered. _I can't wait till those stupid children leave,_ she thought. She sat at her desk, narrowed her eyes, pulled out a judge's mallet from her desk drawer, and banged it on her desk.

"Silence! Silence!" she shouted angrily. She banged the mallet on her desk again, and the children immediately shut up, looking at her with terrified looks on their faces.

Satisfied, she put away the mallet. "Alright, class, today's horrible lesson will be about something horri-" She never got to finish her sentence, as there was a loud screeching sound, as if someone was driving drunk and turning a corner. With a loud crash, a spaceship crashed through the ceiling, its back part in flames. Smoke filled the room and rubble flew everywhere.

"EJECTING," said the ship, tossing the two aliens out of the ship.

"I thought you said we'd land in another week," Anon groaned.

"Well, I guess I overshot," replied the irken, squinting through the dust. The class watched silently, not even blinking, except for one specific paranormal investigator.

"ALIENS! SEE?! THERE'S ALIENS IN OUR CLASS! I WAS RIGHT! Man, where is my camera?!" Dib rummaged through his pocket till he found the camera. Instinctively a cord shot out of the irken's PAK, snatching the camera and breaking it. There was a blue flash through the air, and all of a sudden the robot, ship and evidence of the was gone, replaced by a brown-haired girl dressed in blue, the exact same height as Zim.

"As yet another celebration of overcrowding, we will be having yet another new student," said Ms. Bitters. "Poonchy, you're going to the underground classroom." Poonchy screamed, and the floor dropped under him, replaced by an empty desk. She turned to the girl. "You have 1 minute to introduce yourself."

The girl focused her ice-blue eyes onto the class. " I'm Teth. And I'm not an alien, Dib."


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Lol, srry, was supposed to upload this 2 days ago ^^" but i have the next chapter, and the third's almost done, so be happy xD**

**Chapter 1: Food fight**

**8:01:57, September 01. Location: Ms. Bitter's room, Skool**

Dib's jaw dropped. How did she know what I was thinking? And... how does she know my name? he thought, frightened but curious of the possibly psychic new kid. Well, you already accused Zim in the first episode, and you just thought, "She's that alien that crashed through the ceiling!" But for the name thing, idk. Dib looked around, freaked out. Why is there a voice in my head?! he thought. His gaze fell upon the alien, whose eyes were glowing bright as she stared at him. She immediately averted her gaze, and her eyes stopped glowing as she headed toward her desk. But he still felt oddly vulnerable. He looked at Teth again. Her eyes were still glowing, but she appeared to be looking ahead. When he looked more closely, though, he could see her looking at him through the corner of her eye. He looked away uncomfortably. What is this that I'm feeling? he wondered. It's not love, came a reply. Mit told me this was STAZR, and only STAZR. You're just feeling your mind being scanned cuz I'm reading it. I can stop if it's to uncomfortable for your Earth mind.

"Stop reading my mind! It's freaky!" he cried, clutching his head. Teth's eyes stopped glowing abruptly and she laughed.

"Dib, you need to relax," she said. "Everyone knows mindreading isn't possible, aliens aren't real, and that there is an underground classroom."

"I TOLD YOU!" shouted Ms. Bitters, fistpumping, before she sat back down and resumed to muttering "doom" semi-consciously. Zim narrowed his eyes at Teth, thinking. Finally he stood up, still staring at her.

"It's either the Stink-boy's going crazy or you really are a mindreader. Yet you seem awfully familiar..." He trailed off, trying to remember.

"Well, of course I'm familiar, Zim! We're... cousins, remember?" she asked.

Zim glared at her. "Irkens don't have cousins!" he hissed.

"It's a cover story, smart one!" Teth replied. She looked around at the class, making sure they didn't notice anything, but they stared dully at the board, drool leaking from the edge of their mouths. She breathed a sigh of relief. I've used way too much magic for one day...

* * *

Three and a half hours later (aka 15 minutes after lunch break started), Dib finally finished telling Gaz the recap of everything that happened in homeroom that day, not noticing she wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention, (as she was playing her GameSlave2) and was getting extremely annoyed by her older brother's ranting. Finally she lifted her eyes from her game to glare at him.

"Look, Dib. You can shut up, or shut up with half of you gone. Your choice," she growled. Apparently Dib wasn't listening.

"She just fell through the ceiling! And then the class just goes frozen for a second and acts as if it's normal to fall through the ceiling! And then Mrs. Bitters says that she's a new student here, but I know she's not, and-"

She grunted, opening one eye all the way to warn him that she was perfectly content with choosing for him.

"Er... I'll just shut up then," he mumbled.

"You do that, 'Big-Head Boy'," she said, smirking.

"My head's not big!" shouted Dib. Gaz turned around and smacked him in the face. "And... 2+2 is Ohio!" he said semi-consciously before falling to the ground in a faint.

Finally, some peace! thought Gaz.  
On the other side of the cafeteria, Zim was questioning Teth about her mind reading.  
"...So, what you're saying is, you really are a mind reader?" asked Zim, squinting suspiciously at the "mashed potatoes".

Teth looked around at the other human children eating the food, so to blend in, took a bite of her sandwich. "Mm-hmm- WHAT THE F*CK IS IN THIS JUNK?!" She spat it out immediately, and wiped her burning tongue with her napkin furiously. The other kids looked at each other strangely.

"I thought it was fine; only 5 months past the sell-by date," whispered one of the kids.  
"Er- delicious! What a delicious, horrible, tongue-burning sandwich. Yum," she stated, pushing the rest of her sandwich away. "Seriously, what is this- sh*t?! It burns!" she whispered.  
"It's meat," answered Zim. "You get used to it." Teth raised an eyebrow, repulsed.  
"So, you're saying you eat this 'meat'?" Zim narrowed his eyes, insulted.  
"No, I toss it with all my strength at Dib so it hits him in the face and knocks him over," he replied, smirking devilishly. Then he grabbed her sandwich and tossed with all his strength at Dib so it hit him in the face and knocked him over.  
"FOOD FIGHT!" he screamed. The cafeteria was a madhouse after that. Half the kids started throwing food at each other. Half of them hid under the tables in terror. Yet another half* ran out of the room screaming.  
"I love Earth customs," Zim murmured happily before chucking a green hotdog at Keef. In the midst of the raging food battle, however, Ms. Bitters walked in talking on the phone.  
"...and this is the third alien we have had this year! Do you know what this means for our plan for world conquest**? Sure one failed, and the other is too dumb, but there's another who can do magic on my class, so she could get it before us!" She paused.

"...Yes, yes, I know, the meat, the meat, but it seems to be that the aliens don't eat it. We must disguise as some random alien food but we'll need research for that. Contact the librarian, maybe she'll have some useful information for a change-" She was cut off as a hamburger hit her in the face.

"-Just a minute-" Ms. Bitters covered the phone with her hand. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?" she screeched, wiping the hamburger grease off of her face. Everyone froze in their place. A glob of chili hit the wall and floated away.

"ZIM-"

"F*ck," muttered Zim.

"-TETH-"

"Sh*t," growled Teth.

"-DIB-"

"D*mn," mused Dib, rubbing his head where he was knocked over twice.

"-AND GAZ!"

"Your mother is a *beep beep beep beep* Laura Mendsom *beep beep beep* Inventive menium *beep beep beep beep* tra goo la *beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep* hippopotamus *beep beep beep beep beep beep* Republican *beep beep beep* Daniel Radcliffe *beep beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep beep beep* in a castle far away where no one can hear you *beep beep beep beep beep beep* soup *beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep* Mickey Mouse *beep beep* with a stick of dynamite *beeeeeepppp* magical *beep beep beep beep* ALAKAZAM!" shouted Gaz, angrily slamming her fist on the table.

"-CAN'T I AT LEAST GET THROUGH ONE WORD WITHOUT SOMEONE CUSSING?!- anyhow, YOU FOUR, INTO MY ROOM NOW!"

* Improper fraction, lol  
** Because Mrs. Bitters is working with the lunch lady who really is a man to conquer Earth


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Holy fuck... I'M SO SORRY EVERYONE! I HAD NO CLUE WHATSOEVER ABOUT 2 BEING MISSING AND 3 BEING A DUPLICATE! YOU JUST MISSED A COMPLETE CHAPTER OF MY REALLY AWFUL FANFIC AND I'M SORRY! GOOD LORD I- am gonna quietly repost this and walk away slowly...**

**Chapter 2: The Mission**

12:15:45, September 01. Location: Ms. Bitters's

room, Skool

Ms. Bitters stared sternly at the four disobedient children. "It has come to my attention that-"

"Dib started the food fight! Not me! It was totally him! Blame the Stink-Boy!" cried Zim, grabbing Dib by the shoulders and shoving him to Ms. Bitters. Ms. Bitters raised an eyebrow.

"This isn't about the food fight, Zim. You'll get your detentions later. As I was saying, the Almighty Tallest-" both Zim and Teth looked up at her with sudden interest. "-has called to inform me that you four are needed in a... special mission, as they-" This was too much for the two irkens, as they jumped out of their seats and squealed like kids on a sugar rush.

"OMGWEHAVEASPECIALMISSIONASSIGNEDFROMTHEALMIGHTYTA LLESTOMGOMGTHEALMIGH-TYTALLESTOMGWHENDOESITSTARTOM GOMGOMG!" they exclaimed, bouncing rapidly on the tile floor.

"-and they've been been attacked. And they need your help. So... you have to go to Irk or whatever and save their butts," she continued, ignoring their shouts.

"But how do you know the Almighty Tallest?" asked Dib. Ms. Bitters smiled crookedly.

"Zim talks in his sleep."

Zim blushed. "Does not!" Gaz looked up from her GameSlave2.

"No, she's right. Dib forced me on a spy expedition," she said. Zim's head snapped up and he focused his pale blue eyes on him. Now it was Dib's turn to blush.

"What?! No I didn't!" he exclaimed. .

"You did," Gaz and Ms. Bitters said in unison.

"You're lying!" shouted Zim and Dib.

"Hey... why'd you call over the humans-" she motioned to Dib and Gaz "-if the mission's only for us irk- other humans?" asked Teth. Ms. Bitters narrowed her eyes, annoyed.

"I don't know, maybe their part alien or whatever because the Tallest asked for them as well." She hesitated. "But to be honest the underground classroom's getting full so I can't send them there. Anyhow, they're being attacked-"

"By who?" interrupted Zim.

"-Lemme finish- by some unknown force created in the heart of the Empire itself," she announced.

_Dramatic much?_ thought Dib.

"The Tallest are not the Tallest anymore, apparently," she continued. "They were overthrown."

Zim gawked. "They were what?!" he yelped.

"You need some alien hearing aid or something," said Gaz, "because she said o-ver-th-rown."

"...I didn't even know that was possible," muttered Teth, her eyes glowing blue.

"...So we're going into Zim's spaceship (because Teth's fell through the ceiling), riding in it for like, 6 months, going to a place that is trying to take over Earth, defeat the new Tallest, and go home like nobody's business?" asked Dib.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"This is the most cheerful I've seen you, Ms. Bitters. You feeling okay or did the glow-in-the-dark hamburger that hit you in the face do something to you?"

"...Another detention Dib."

"Aw come on!" exclaimed Dib. Gaz snickered at her unfortunate brother.

"Well, let's go!" said Zim, hopping onto Ms. Bitter's desk.

"Detention, remember?" groaned Teth.

"Get off my desk, Zim," said Ms. Bitters. Zim sighed and went back to his seat.

"I felt so tall," he muttered sadly. Teth facepalmed.

"Um... okay..." Gaz went back to playing on her GameSlave2, then randomly shouted, "OH CURSE YOU VAMPIRE PIGGIES!" Everyone stared at her, unsure on how to respond to her outburst.

"What? They shoot fire from their eyes! It's impossible to win against multiple vampire piggies shooting fire from their ey-"

"HIYA BUDDY!" came Keef's cry as he went flying through the window and into the hallway.

"Shouldn't he be disintegrated by now?" asked Zim.

"I wish... stupid pipsqueak," muttered Ms. Bitters.

"What did you do to him?" asked Teth.

Zim sighed. "Well, the eye replacement thing to make him think a squirrel was me wore off, and the happy-popping solution didn't work, so I got so p*ssed I shoved him down the garbage disposal."

"Garbage disposal? No wonder it didn't work! Send into the sun through a cannon instead," said Teth.

"Hey! Great idea! Where'd that come from?"

She shrugged. "It's a combo of sending Skoodge into space with a cannon split with that one ep (Hobo 13 was it?) where you and one dude were trapped in a spaceship with no controllers headed toward the sun." She paused. "Hey, shouldn't you be dead?"

"Good point... I need to talk to Jhonen about that," answered Zim.

"But aren't cartoon characters immortal?" asked Gaz.

"No, we can die," replied Teth.

"And you will die if you don't shut up!" snapped Ms. Bitters. "This is detention, not a talk show!" They went quiet after that, giving each other reproachful glances as if the other were to blame. Ms, Bitters went back to muttering doom again, which appears to be her hobby.

"Doom...doom...doom...doom..."

Soon Zim got into the act. "Doom...doom...doom...do- OH I'M SICK OF STAYING HERE! CAN'T WE LEAVE?!"

"Be quiet Zim. If it weren't for you, we would be home by now," said Dib, glaring.

"It was pretty fun though," said Teth wistfully. Ms. Bitters checked her watch and sighed.

"You're dismissed," she said. All of them did a cheer.

"Wait," said Ms. Bitters. "An old enemy has returned. Beware. Especially you, Zim." she added.

Zim raised an eyebrow. "Why? And who is this... enemy?"

"Tak. She's back on Earth and hungry for revenge."


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So you might be wondering why this took that long. Well, I'll tell you. Spring break was 2 weeks ago. I had enough time to type this. But I didn't. Because I was on the couch. On my comp.**

**...Playing WolfQuest.**

**Sorry. But I can only type up this stuff at school, because for some reason that's the only time I concentrate on this stuff. I'll be working on Shadows into Light again, because my motivation IS BACK, THANK GOD, so I'll spend my time working on the Truth or Dare (yes, I'm still doing that one), and then try to do LOST. But i might discontinue that... ANYHOW! CHAPTER THREE! GO READ IT. NOW. COME** ON.

**Chapter 3: Tak is... back?!**

4:35:23, September 01. Location: front of Skool

Approximately four hours later, after Skool has ended...

"Tak...Tak is...back?! Tak is alive... she wants my mission again... she's gonna be _mad..."_ Zim was the definition of panicking when he heard of her return. All through the rest of the day he was nervously looking from side to side, muttering to himself and jumping at the slightest noise.

"Who's 'Tak'?" Teth asked. Both Dib and Zim gaped at her in astonishment.

"SHE TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" shouted Dib.

"SHE TRIED TO TAKE OVER MY JOB!" screamed Zim.

"She's okay..." muttered Gaz.

"SHE'S EVIL! SHE'S MAD AT ME! SHE'S-" Zim stopped as he noticed they arrived at his house. "Oh, hey, we're here. So um, see ya guys."

"Oh, see ya," said Dib.

"Hey, I thought you hated each other!" exclaimed Teth.

"Huh? Oh yeah! Um- I WILL DESTROY YOU, ALIEN! JUST YOU WAIT! I'LL SHOW THE WORLD WHO YOU REALLY AR-" One of the gnomes in Zim's yard turned and hit him in the eyes with a laser beam. He cried out in pain and ran toward his house holding his eye.

Gaz sighed irritately. "Might as well follow him." She waved. "See ya."

"See ya," replied Teth. She headed toward Zim's house and knocked on the door. Zim peer out through the window.

"Who's there? The Halloweenies?! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY BLOOD!" he yelled.

"No, its me, Teth," she answered. "And its September first, Zim. There are no 'Halloweenies', as you call it, out right now."

Zim paused, thinking about it. "YOU'RE LYING!"

"No really! It's me!"

"If you're sure..." he muttered, unlocking the door. "Oh. Hello. What is it?"

_Come on, tell him! This is it!_ she thought. "Er... um-I- can you, like, help repair my ship," she stammered, "cuz, you know, it fell through the ceiling and, well-"

"Oh, of course, sure! Follow me," said Zim,

_You imbecile!_ she thought to herself, following. She stopped suddenly, looking around.

"Is your house always like this?" she asked quizically, stifling a laugh at the house, which was covered in waffles. Zim's antennae lifted as he noticed the syrup dripping down.

"GIR!" he roared. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Gir stopped playing in the syrup puddles, looking up at his master and smiling. "I MADE WAFFLES!" he squealed.

"I can see that, _Gir,"_ he grumbled. "Elevator, take me to the storage room." A tile of the floor disappeared, and all three of them got onto it and went to the storage room.

"WHERE IS IT?! UGH! WHERE IS IT!" yelled Zim, throwing numerous stuff out of the way looking for a tool.

"Whatcha doin', Master?" asked Gir, licking the syrup off his hands.

"Looking for that tool that can- OH THERE IT IS!" Zim triumphantly pulled out a huge tool and turned to Teth. "So, where's your ship?"

"Right here." she replied as the ship arrived out of thin air.

"HOW'DYOUDOTHAT?!" gasped Zim.

"I- I don't really know," she said. "Never really thought about it..."

Zim shrugged. "Okay." They went to work on the ship.

"Is Gazzy here?" asked Gir, tugging at Zim's shirt.

"You mean Gaz-human? No, why would she be?"

"I LIKE GAZZY AND TACOS AND I WANNA BE A MONGOOSE!" Gir babbled.

"That's nice, Gir," Zim muttered .

A half hour later, Zim straightened his back and glanced proudly at the ship. It was sparkling and undented; it hardly seemed to have fallen through the Skool ceiling. Teth's jaw dropped.

"HOW'DYOUDOTHAT?!"

"I- I don't really know," he said, imitating her voice perfectly. "Never really thought about it, ...like at all." He angled his face and smiled, making U Mad Bro face at her. She cuffed his arm.

"Hey, that's my line!" Teth said, smiling.

Zim smirked. "I know it is. I know." he answered.

"Anyhow, changing the subject entirely, what're you gonna do after you conquer the Earth?" she asked, absentmindedly twirling her antennae. "If you survive," she added quietly.

"What?"

"-Nothing."

_What does she mean by 'If you survive?'_ Zim thought, confused and a little nervous about what she said. _Is- is she plotting to try and kill me?_ _The amazing Zim?_

_What?! No! I'm just saying, it's possible for you to die during the missio-_

"AAAAHHH! WHAT THE-" Zim panicked, freaking out. "THERE'S A GHOST IN MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT!"

_I'm- I'm not a ghost-_

Zim screamed again and ran into the wall of the underground base and fell back. "...Ow.."

"Sorry," Teth apologized. "Bad habit."

Zim rubbed his head and got back up. "That was you?"

"Well, yeah." She paused. "I warned you at lunch though," she added.

Zim's thoughts came back to the cafeteria, before the food fight.

_"...So, what you're saying is, you really are a mind reader?"_

_"Mm-hmm- WHAT THE F*CK IS IN THIS JUNK?!"_

_"It's meat. You get used to it."_

"I- I thought you were joking about that..."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I wasn't."

"Apparently." he replied. "Uh- anyways, back the the question... I'd probably give it to the Tallest, get promoted, work for the Tall-"

"Which one?" she asked. "New or old?"

Zim scratched his chin thoughtfully, unknowingly and, out of habit, made a hilarious fake thinking pose. "Oh. Um... well, I'd have to do the new Tallest, because I can't serve the old Tallest, but then if we're gonna murder the new Tallest, then maybe the old Tallest, so-" He stopped suddenly. Teth was clutching her sides and laughing so hard it seemed she would collapse. "-hey, is this a trick question?!"

Teth poked him and grinned. "You're cute when you rant." Zim blushed.

"Well, anyway, I gotta go. Thanks for the repairs," she added, looking at her fixed ship admiringly.

Seriously? "Oh. Okay, -um I'll see you tomorrow at school then, right?"

"I wouldn't miss it!" She winked and leapt gracefully into the ship. "See ya!"

"See ya!" Zim replied. Then he turned to Gir. "Hey, do ya think it's hot in here or is it just me?"


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I lied. TEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE**

**Chapter 4: Something Strange...**

4:40:36, September 01. Location: Living room, Dib and Gaz's house

"OWW! IT STINGS!" wailed Dib, holding his eye.

Gaz lifted her eyes from the game and glared at him. "Shut up, Dib, I'm _trying_ to play a _game_," she growled.

Dib rolled his eyes. "I can't believe we're going to save the Tillest or whatever. We're helping the aliens that are trying to destroy us!"

"Oh well." Gaz said, going back to her GameSlave2.

Dib threw his hands up in exasperation. "GAZ! If we don't help them, the world will be saved! There won't be anymore invaders!" His hands clenched into fists.

"...meh."

"...You don't care about a single thing I'm saying, do you?"

"It took you that long to realize?" snapped Gaz. Dib sighed and sat down next to her. He grabbed the remote and flips through the channels, stopping at Mysterious Mysterious. Gaz groaned and pulled her legs up onto the couch, not taking her eyes off her game.

_"Welcome to Mysterious Mysteries of strange myster-"_

There was a loud smacking sound as Gaz threw one of her boots at the TV, cracking the screen. Dib turned to glare at her and was about to ask her why the h*ll she did that, but she paused her game and lifted an index finger to shush him. She then stated something that make Dib's eyes widen and jaw drop.

"I think we should go."

He tried and failed to reply to her, and could only manage to stare.

"What?! Earth is stupid," she said, shrugging, before unpausing her GameSlave2 and began shooting mercilessly at the flying pigs in it.

"But its our planet! We need to save it from alien invaders! And global warming! And ...GIANT WEENIE STANDS!" he shouted while flailing his arms, suddenly regaining his ability to speak.

"Just because Tak disguised her plan into a giant weenie stand doesn't mean all of them are evil (and besides, those were pretty good hot dogs)." Dib stiffened at her name.

"Don't mention her to me," he muttered.

"Tak?"

"Yes, her!"

"Why?" Gaz asked.

Dib turned away. "Well, she believed (well, knew) that Zim was an alien, she listened to my pointless ranting about paranormal investigation, she hated Zim, I think she liked me, she-"

Gaz's game fell right out of her hands as she burst out laughing.

Dib looked at her with an eyebrow raised irritatedly. "What?!" he asked.

"You- you think she liked y-" She grabbed the fabric of the couch to avoid falling off, but her grip slid and she fell onto the carpet below. She pulled herself back up and wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes.

"-she wasn't like _YOU_, you know. If she was my video game-obsessed little sister she wouldn't be _laughing_ at me," Dib snarled, glaring at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was supposed to think you were _serious_ about that?" asked Gaz, voice dripping with sarcasm, before laughing some more.

"I'm just gonna ignore you."

"Fine with me."

"...but it felt, it felt- as if she was- ...a friend." Dib continued.

"Oh, stop acting all semental over her. It's making me sick," said Gaz. Dib turned to her, frustrated.

"Of course, you wouldn't know how it feels like-" snapped Dib.

"-And I'm glad-" she interrupted.

"-to realize that your first actual friend was an alien trying to take over the world!" he finished.

Gaz went quiet and looked to the ground. _...Or in my case, an alien's robot._ Dib raised an eyebrow at her trance-like state. He waved a hand in her face, trying to get her to snap out of it.

"...Gaz? You're quiet. As in not-insulting-me-or-threatening-me-or-anything quiet. You okay?" Dib asked, concerned for his little sister.

Gaz blinked. "Huh? Oh, yeah, you- um... er... big-headed paranormal investigator!" she said, stumbling over her words.

"My head's not big! Why is everyone saying that!" exclaimed Dib.

Gaz held up some papers. "It's in the script," she answered.

"Glad to see you're back to normal then," Dib commented. But she wasn't listening, already lost in her thoughts again.

"DAD!"

Professor Membrane poked his head into the living room. "Shh! Not now, son! I am making...-"

"Let me guess- toast," Dib said, rolling his eyes.

"No, actually it's english muffins. But close. Now what is it?"

"Gaz is acting strange. She not insulting me or anything. I think she's ill," he continued, his eyes not leaving his sister, who was staring at the wall without blinking. It was rather creepy.

"Don't tell me you gave her the dreaded Pig-Mouth again!" cried the professor.

"No!" Dib shuddered at the memory of the punishment the Shadow Hog gave him in the pig realm.

"Did you send the walking dead after her again?" asked the professor.

"What?! No! ...And I said I was sorry about that!"

The professor scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Then there's only one more possibility..." he mused. If Dib was a cat his ears would have pricked up excitedly.

"WHAT IS IT?!" he asked eagerly, obviously dying with curiosity.

"She's in love."


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yea. That chap was too long, so I decided to trim it :/. Oh, and btw, the asthma joke is only for this chapter. its too weird with aliens and inhalers but i thought that would be a funny joke xD.**

**Chapter 5: A visit with Zim**

5:07:19, September 01. Location: Living room, Dib and Gaz's house

"YOU HAVE _GOT_ TO BE KIDDING ME!"

Professor Membrane raised his eyebrow. "I assure you, I am not. FOR SCIENTIST'S NEVER KID!"

"But that's- that's less likely than Ms. Bitter's being nice to me!" spluttered Dib. "It's not possible!"

"NEVER DOUBT THE POWER OF WORLD'S GREATEST SCIENTIST!" roared the professor. Dib backed away from his furious dad.

"...Sorry, Dad," he mumbled meekly.

"Quite alright, son," replied Professor Membrane. There was a ding, and then a popping sound behind him. "THE MUFFINS ARE READY! THE MUFFINS ARE READY!" he shrieked, running into the kitchen.

Seconds later he was back in the living room, with an english muffin drowned with strawberry jam in hand. He leaned casually on the couch, using his left are for support, and acted as if it were normal to freak out when english muffins finished toasting themselves.

"Oh, by the way, your little foreign friend came over yesterday. He asked if it was alright if he could borrow some of our equipment to take over the world. That alright with you?" he asked.

"DAD! HE'S NOT MY FRIEND, HE'S AN ALIEN!" yelled Dib.

The professor merely laughed in response. "Of course he is," he chuckled, taking a bite out of his english muffin.

"HE'S TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

"Why, how interesting! Your friend has a lot of potential for someone your age," Professor Membrane replied happily. "I can now see why you two are friends!"

"HE'S NOT MY FRI-" Suddenly he got an idea. "-Oh wait... can I come over to his house to um... hang out? You know, because he's my- _best friend?_" Dib had to force the words from his mouth.

"Why of course!" the professor exclaimed. "Friendship gives you 30% more happiness in your life (but then again, 88% of stats are false)!"

Dib smiled at his success. "Great! I'll be going then!" _Who knew having such a stupid dad could come to my advantage?_ he thought while heading out the door. He ran down the road to Zim's house. He was only 5 feet from the fence when there was a loud rumbling sound. Then the roof of Zim's house opened and a spaceship flew out. Dib gaped and watched the alien vehicle fly away. He ran into the yard, leaping over the gnome's lasers until he was safely at the door.

"ZIM! OPEN UP! _ZIIIIIIMMMMM!_" he shouted, pounding on the door. He stumbled as the door opened.

"Yeah, what is it- YOUUUUUUU!" screeched Zim.

"Yes, it's me, I need to-"

"Gir! Defend the base!" Zim ordered. Gir's eyes turning red.

"YES SIR!" Gir shouted, saluting.

"Zim! Listen to me! I-" He stopped suddenly and started screaming when when the android leapt out the window straight toward his head. Everything seemed to go in slow motion.

"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!" Dib screamed.

"YYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!" Zim shouted.

"TTTTAAAACCCCCOOOOOSSSS!" Gir squealed. He landed on Dib's head and his eyes turned back to cyan. "YOUR HEAD SMELLS LIKE A PUPPY!" he cheered. Dib grabbed the little robot and tried tugging him off, but Gir held fast to the long scythe on his head. Finally Gir hopped off, going back into duty mode and saluting Zim again, then turned around and ran into the side of the house.

"What are you doing with my dad's tools?!" Dib demanded. Zim narrowed his ruby eyes.

"And why should you know, pathetic hyoo-man?!" he spat.

"It's my father's equipment!"

"Hmm, fair point... well, building a machine to take over the world, what else? Except _this_ time, I making sure you can't stop me by making the machine impossible for you to get within 20 feet of it without blowing up!" He laughed evilly, then froze and started coughing madly. "Sorry. Asthma." He took an inhaler out of his pocket and breathed in the medicine.

"Thanks for warning me then..." Dib slowly backed away from the alien's house.

Zim pocketed the inhaler. "Oh, no prob. Hey wait! You weren't supposed to know that!" he exclaimed.

_God, he's stupid!_ thought Dib. "Why'd you tell me, then?" he asked.

"Good question... but I don't care!"

"...Um, anyways, what was that ship doing, flying out of your house?" Dib asked, changing the subject.

"Teth's needed repairs. Why?" Zim replied.

"I dunno..." They stood there awkwardly, not like friends, but not as if they were trying to annihilate each other, either.

"You do something to Gaz? She's not insulting me anymore. It's scary." Dib shuddered at the memory of her creepiness.

"ENOUGH WITH THE QUESTIONS, INFERIOR HYOO-MAN WORMBABY!" Zim roared. Dib jumped.

"Eh, and as an answer for the question, I don't know." he added quietly. He thought for a second. "Though Gir's been asking about her every five seconds..."

They looked at each other, their faces paling as the answer dawned upon them. Zim swore.

"...You know, I always wondered why she ran out of your house screaming with Gir chasing her during the Tak invasion..." mused Dib.

"...I better speak with Gir," Zim muttered.

"I'll come with you."

"What- why?!"

"I wanna know what's happened to her!" Dib answered.

Zim sighed. _Stoopid hyoo-mans,_ he thought. "Fine. Follow me."

_Yes! And even better, I brought my video camera with me!_ Dib thought excitedly. Zim headed toward his minion.

"Gir!" he barked. "We need to talk."


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Don't yell for me not updating on this thing. There's 1,685 words in this thing (decided not to split it because there wasn't a good place to split where it would be equal). But anyhow, I MIGHT be working on Shadows Into Light more, because I planned out EVERY PART EXCEPT FOR THE 13TH AND 14TH CHAPTER LAST NIGHT. But I'm too lazy to type it lol |D. I might work on this more, though. It's easiest. But anyhow, what are your thoughts on this? Do you like it? Anything I need to change? Plz review :)**

**Hey, should i post this on my deviantART?**

Chapter 6: Gir's Secret

5:14:06, September 01. Location: Zim's base

Gir tilted his head. "Yes, Master?" he asked.

"Do you have some..." -Zim hesitated. "-'connection' with Gaz?" he asked.

"I don't know..." Gir scratched his head, confused.

"Do you like her?" Zim asked.

"I like waffles."

"Yes, but do you like HER?"

"I like her waffles."

Zim facepalmed."GAZ MEMBRANE! NOT WAFFLES! GAZ!" he shouted, outraged with his idiotic minion.

"Ohhhhh." Gir grinned innocently. Dib tried hard to hide his snicker as he videotaped the base.

"Yeah, I think so," Gir answered, shrugging.

"Hmm..." Zim scratched his chin. After a moment he asked, "Gir, why did she run out screaming in the episode _Tak, the Hideous New Girl?"_

"Well, I was remote controlling Mimi..." Gir trailed off thinking.

"And..." Zim pressed.

"Gazzy was dancing with me..."

_Poor Gaz,_ thought Zim. "And..."

"I went out and got some tacos..." Zim glared at him.

"No, really, Gir."

Gir pouted, "Fine. Then Mimi (and me) messed up Tak's ship..."

"And..."

"I kissed Gaz."

"WHAT?!" Zim and Dib screamed.

"YOUR ROBOT KISSED MY SISTER?!"

"DO YOU THINK I WANTED THAT TO HAPPEN?!"

"Aw, but she's so nice," Gir said, grinning. "You just gotta give her a chance. And then open up her head and sleep in it like a squishy little bed!" Dib and Zim just stared at him in response.

"I can't believe." Zim declared .

"Me neither," agreed Dib.

"HOW DARE YOU AGREE WITH ME?!"

"Sheesh, Zim." he muttered.

"Never mind that, she's your sister, you should deal with her," Zim said.

Dib sighed. "Okay."

Zim scratched under his wig, and finally removed it, along with his contacts. It's not like Dib hasn't seen him without them before, anyways. Dib just glanced at the newly revealed antennae and irken eyes.

"Er... I need to prepare the ship," he announced. He paused, then barked, "Gir! Stop thinking of Gaz and get ready! We leave tonight, when there is no moon!"

"Wouldn't you need to leave on a full moon?" asked Dib.

"No, the hyoo-mans will spot us," Zim replied.

"Good point..."

"Of course it's a good point, I thought of it!" he shouted. Dib merely rolled his eyes in response.

"_Sure_. The 'all-powerful doom machine' Zim is _alway_s right," he said, voice dripping in sarcasm. "He's so _brilliant_ his disguise only has_ two parts."_

"Just leave!" snarled Zim. "I don't need your pathetic hyoo-man presence in my amazing base!"

"Sure. Okay." _Yes! I got his entire base on tape! I'll just have to show it to the world and-_

Fast as lightning, Zim reached over and snatched the camera. "I'm not that stoo-pid, Dib-pig!" He smirked. "I knew you were filming me all along! I just decided to give you the pleasure of brief victory, because you've never felt it before in your LIFE! ...And I kinda pitied you."

"Sure," Dib growled. "Of _course_ you could tell. Nothing evades the amazing _Zim."_

"THAT'S IT!" With a loud battle cry Zim leapt onto the paranormal investigator and clawed him mercilessly. _D*mn, irken claws are sharp,_ Dib thought as he tried to pry off the enraged alien. He grabbed onto one of his antennae and yanked him off, then threw him across the base with strength he never knew existed. Not hesitating to catch his breath, he ran into the elevator, went back up to the main level, and sprang out into the night.

* * *

"Why are you bleeding?"

The siblings were in one of the gloomy parts of town. The sky was gray, and trash littered the streets. Cars went by, most of them speeding, and splashed them with dirty water. Still, it was the only nearby bus stop, and the abandoned hot dog factory was far into the city.

Dib panted and wiped some blood off of his face. "Er... I kinda got in a fight with Zim." he replied. "Where were you?"

"Around." Gaz shrugged, not taking her eyes off her GameSlave. She was about to beat her highscore, and she couldn't take any distractions-

"HI!" Gir zoomed right into her and knocked her down. Her narrowed eyes widened slightly as the game was knocked out of her hands. Gir looked up and suddenly grabbed the GameSlave out of the air and handed it back to her.

"Uh... thanks," Gaz muttered, accepting the game. Gir nodded, eyes glowing red, before they changed back to their original cyan tone.

"NO PROBLEM!" he squealed. "MASTAH JUST WANTED ME TO TELL YOU THAT'S HE'S ON HIS WAY, AND WILL BE HERE SOON!" He paused. "THOUGH I'M NOT FULLY SURE, BECAUSE HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS!" He giggled. Gaz raised an eyebrow at her brother. Dib looked at his feet.

"I kinda... er... threw him against the wall, and ...yeah." he murmured to Gaz.

"Impressive," she told him under her breath.

"Wait, did you actually _compliment_ me?!"

"What?! No! I said, um, I just said you were stupid." Dib decided not to press her further. _It's probably because Gir's here,_ he thought.

"Well, okay, I better go back to Master and call an ambulance or something..." Gir cast a longing glance at Gaz before flying away again. Gaz stared after him.

"You like him, don't you?" Dib said, breaking the silence. Gaz punched him.

"No way! Why- why would I like a robot?! Why would I like a deranged, annoying, crazy, robot?!" she shouted angrily. "What type of person do you think I am?" Dib's eyes widened and he held up his hands in defense, only to fall back as she stormed toward him.

"Okay, okay. No need to get defensi-"

"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!"

"Okay! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Don't-" He was cut off as her hands closed around his neck. He gasped for breath as she loomed over him.

"If you even think about me liking him ever again, I'll make sure you'll wake up tomorrow with half of you gone," growled Gaz, her face no more than two inches away from his. Dib nodded weakly. She nodded, satisfied, and went back to playing her GameSlave. Dib made a choking noise and pointed to his throat, and only then did Gaz realize she hasn't let go of his throat yet. She dropped him.

"So, erm..." Dib tried to get off her bad side by making some conversation. "...you're pretty strong for someone your age, right? I bet no one else could strangle me that hard." He fingered the bruises forming on his neck before yelping. Gaz grunted in response before going back to her game.

"And um, you're pretty good at playing that game, I must say. You've probably gotten the highest score in the-"

"What are you doing?" She paused the game and opened one eye inquiringly.

"...Trying to get off your bad side," he answered truthfully.

"That's not helping. In fact, that's only making want to hurt you more."

Dib stopped talking and looked at his feet. He figured he went through enough pain already.

* * *

It wasn't better on the other side of town, either. Rain pattered the windows of Zim's base, making it hard to think of what else he should put in his amazing plan. Combine that with the theme song of the Angry Monkey Show that was playing at the moment, and he was downright p*ssed.

"GIR! TURN THAT STUPID EARTH SHOW OFF! YOU'VE MONITORED ENOUGH EARTH BROADCAST SHOWS ALREADY!" he shouted.

"Aw, but I wanna watch the Angry Monkey!" Gir whined.

"NO! HOW CAN YOU EXPECT THE AMAZING ZIM TO WORK ON HIS BRILLIANT PLAN WITH THAT RACKET?!"

"B-But I want to- but it's-"

Too late Zim realized Gir was going into a tantrum. The hysterical shrieks were heard all throughout the neighborhood.

"Gir! Be quiet! The hyoo-mans will hear! Gir! Listen to me-" But it was no use. The people were coming over to investigate the noise. Zim squeezed his eyes shut. Horrible visions of metal tools and scientists and autopsy tables and blood, his blood, popped into his mind. He screamed and tried desperately to quiet the bawling android.

"Gir! Please! The-" Suddenly he had an idea. An amazing idea! "GIR! I'LL GET TACOS!"

Gir stopped crying at once.

"Tacos?" he asked, tilting his head up at his master.

"Yes, Gir. Tacos. I have a coupon to the Crazy Taco. I'll get you tacos if you shut up!"

"Um..."

"Think, Gir! Tacos, burritos, taquitos, nachos, ANYTHING! JUST PLEASE, SHUT UP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

"Uh..." Gir scratched his head. "What about tamales?"

"YES! YOU CAN HAVE TAMALES!" The humans were coming closer.

"Sure, okay!" Gir smiled. As if a spell was broken, the humans headed away from the horribly disguised alien base and got back to what they were doing before. Zim breathed a sigh of relief. Now, to get a coupon for the Crazy Taco...

* * *

"Ugh, it's been forever," Dib groaned. "Why won't a stupid bus come already!?"

"Because the bus driver's stupid," Gaz replied. Dib rolled his eyes.

"That's what you say about everyone," he scoffed. "Well, except for Gir," he muttered. Gaz set down her GameSlave on the bench and opened one eye.

"You didn't say what I think you said, did you?" she growled, advancing toward him.

"No, I-"

"Shut up! You did! You remember what I said I'd do, right?!"

"GAZ! I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT! I-" He sealed his fate with his next words. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I WAS ONLY-"

She pinned him on the bench. Thunder bellowed and lightning crashed through the sky behind her.

"I warned you..." Gaz ripped her nails through his skin and pummeled him with her fists. Dib screeched in pain and tried to pull himself free, but she pulled him back and tossed him into the bench. He grabbed onto the side of it to keep himself from entering the street and getting hit by a car, in doing so tilting the bench. Gaz could only watch in horror as her GameSlave2, the one she fought so hard to get, fell onto the street and was smashed, its remains hidden by the ongoing traffic and pouring rain.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thumbs up for Dib's sarcasm. It sounds exactly like Teth XD**


	8. Chapter 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: And... HERE COMES THE TALLEST! Thanks for 940+ views on the orignal version :). And plz review!**

Chapter 7: Delayed

11:45:27, September 15. Location: Cafeteria, Skool

Zim looked up from the table as Dib limped into the room and sat down. He hissed.

"Stoo-pid hyoo-man! What do you want with _ZIM?!"_

"Just shut up," Dib muttered.

"Where were you anyways? And what's with you throwing Zim into a wall?" Teth asked.

"He was clawing me."

She looked at the bruises and scratches across his face. "I can see," she noted.

"I didn't do that much damage," said Zim, peering at Dib's scars with interest.

"Most of it was Gaz." he replied

"It's your fault!" Gaz growled at Dib, staring at the place in her hands where the GameSlave2 should have been.

"I broke the GameSlave," he murmured to them, answering their unspoken question.

"Well, I say! That's awful! I think she should've, I dunno, at least have sent him to the hospital?" Zim looked sideways at Gaz.

"Where do you think I was these past 2 weeks?" he snapped.

"Or murdered," Zim reminded. "Could've done that, too."

"The FBI caught me," Gaz replied.

"Well, DOOM TO THE FBI!" Zim leapt onto the table and fist-pumped.

"You sure like standing on tables don't you," Teth said under her breath.

Heads turned suddenly to the kid with the "skin condition" standing on the table. Zim finally noticed their stares and sheepishly said, "That's normal you know."

"Maybe the cancer treatment's getting to him," someone muttered.

"I don't have cancer!" Zim yelled. "I'M A NORMAL, CANCER-FREE HYOO-MAN WORM-BABY WHO IS DEFINITELY NOT AN ALIEN AND HAS NO PLANS WHATSOEVER ON TAKING OVER THIS FILTHY, PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A PLANET!" He got down from the table and pretended nothing happened. The other kids just nodded like you would nod to crazy people. Gaz rolled her eyes. _Stupid alien..._

Dib took this chance to leap onto the table. "SEE? HE'S AN ALIEN! _AN ALIEN!_ WHO YELLS 'DOOM TO THE FBI!' HUH? HUH? _HUH?!"_

No one heard.

Zim smirked triumphantly at Dib. "Come off it, Dib-Stink! No one cares that I'm an alien-"

Head's turned to him.

"Not that I am, of course," he added quickly.

"Saddest way keeping your alien identity a secret I've ever seen," Teth muttered. Gaz nodded in agreement.

"SEE? HE JUST ADMITTED HE'S AN ALIEN! _SEE?!"_ Dib pointed to the said alien and glared.

Yet again, no one was listening.

"See what I mean?" Zim snickered. Dib got off the table, defeated.

"Is he always like that?" Teth asked.

Gaz looked at her "insane" brother, than at the disguised alien, then at her brother again. "...Yeah."

"Why try to save the world when no one cares?!"

"I know right! That's what I always say! It's just stupid!"

"But it's right!" cried Dib. "This planet has no clue about all the things endangering it! Remember how Tak-" He forced her named out of his mouth. "-almost succeeded in hollowing the Earth out?"

"That's true," Zim muttered. "But her plan was never gonna work, anyways! It was lame!_ I_ could've thought of a much better plan!"

"So you stand for justice," Teth stated.

"Yes! Exactly!" _Finally, someone understands!_ Dib thought.

"Peace?"

"Well, yeah-"

"Faith in the good ol' USA?"

"Where are you going with thi-"

Teth stood on her toes so she was exactly his height, and stared deep into his amber eyes. "What about string cheese?"

"What?!"

"You're right, that's stupid," she answered.

"What's with the string cheese?" asked Gaz.

Teth grabbed a random piece of string cheese lying around and tossed it out the window. It flew out, then went back in and somehow decapitated Keef, who was sitting not too far away, before sailing into her hand like a boomerang.

"YES! HE'S DEAD JIM!" Gaz shouted victoriously.

"Jim?" Zim asked.

Dib shrugged. "Earth term."

"Wow! My head's on the ground! Cool!" Keef said excitedly. He picked it up and put it back on his neck.

"HE'S- Aw f*ck." Gaz stopped cheering when she realized he was still alive and well.

"See what I mean?" Teth asked.

"Yeah... why'd you make me so happy for a second? I mean, he's dead. And then he puts his head back on and then its like it didn't happen."

"One of the mysteries of the universe," she answered spookily. Dib stared at her, creeped out.

"What? It's true." He still stared. She backed away slowly. Zim watched them, then glanced at Gaz's disappointed expression. _Stoo-pid hyoo-man,_ he thought. Someone needs to blow him up.

_Why not, then?_ came a voice.

_Teth?_

_Who else?_

_What if I- oh screw it, let's kill him._ He willed his PAK to take out his machine gun.

"HEY KEEF!" he yelled.

"OH, HI PAL!" Keef ran over to hug Zim, and got blown to smithereens.

"YES!" everyone jumped for joy at the demise of the annoyingly happy red-head.

"HEY, THAT WAS FUN ZIM! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!" squealed Keef as he reincarnated. Zim, Dib, Teth and Gaz, took one look at him before running out of the Skool screaming.

"Is he immortal?! HOW DID THAT NOT KILL HIM?!" Teth shouted, enraged.

"I dunno, but that was scary," Zim replied, gasping for breath. "I swear he was gonna glomp me again!"

"Hey, what was scarier, do you think? Now or when we had to hug each other so he'd blow up in _The Return of Keef?"_ asked Dib.

"The hug. Definitely."

"And I had to miss that?" Teth grumbled.

"Apparently. You're only an OC, after all." Gaz reminded her.

"Fair point..."

"Never mind this, right now's a perfect time to get to Irk," stated Zim. "It's not like anyone's gonna notice us now. Everyone's either in Skool or their workplace, and any jobless hyoo-man will be too stoo-pid to notice us," he added.

"Someone's gotten much smarter than they last were 30 seconds ago," Teth muttered.

"Are you saying I, the amazing Zim, wasn't-"

There was a loud crashing sound as an alien ship fell right in front of them.

"Holy sh*t," Gaz gaped at the smoking vehicle.

"Ugh... it's so thick... can't... breathe..."

"HOLD ON RED! I'LL SAVE YOU!"

"I'm okay, sheesh! I was just trying to make it more interesting."

"Oh. Hey, did you bring the donuts?"

"...What donuts?"

"YOU DIDN'T BRING THEM?!"

"Purple. We were running for our lives. How could we have brought donuts at a time like that?"

"I know, but-"

Zim gasped. "My Tallest?!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8: Halfsies**

12:23:14, September 15. Location: front of Skool

"Oh no.. not you," groaned Red.

"My Tallest?! How the h*ll-"

Purple narrowed his eyes. "You're- Teth, right? Shouldn't you be... de-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HE- er... greetings, My Tallest." She bowed. "Did ya miss me?"

"But I swear you were de-"

"Seeing isn't technically believing, My Tallest." she answered.

"My Tallest? What are you doing here? What's going on on Irk?" Zim asked. "What's this about someone overthrowing you?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all! It's all great!" Red stammered. "And that was just a rumour. There's no trouble at all on Irk."

"-Says one of the leaders of the irken race who just crash-landed out the sky." Teth muttered.

Purple turned to Red. "Wasn't she de-"

"What happened anyway?" Teth interrupted.

"-I'm pretty sure she di-"

"I think you're hiding something, My Tallest," Zim told Red.

Red sweated-dropped. "No! We just wanted to, um... visit! Yeah! We wanted to visit you! And-"

"YES! ALIENS! I BETTER GET OUT MY CAMERA-" Dib squealed.

"Who's that large-headed kid?" asked Purple, turning his attention to Dib.

"MY HEAD IS NOT-"

"EVERYONE SHUT THE F*CK UP OR I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!" Gaz shrieked.

Everyone shut up.

"Okay, My Tallest- What the H*LL happened?!" Teth asked.

Red sighed. "Don't get any ideas," he warned. "but we-"

"-were overthrown-" Zim put in.

Red sighed. "Yes, we were. Zim, Teth- you remember the Dark Force, right?"

"Who?" Zim was confused.

"No, I have no _idea_ who they were!" Teth snarled sarcastically. Red eyed her angrily.

"I'm glad _you_ remember at least."

Purple took this moment to add, "Even if you're _de-"_

"ANYHOW, go explain this to Zim, because he has short-term memory loss problems," Teth interrupted.

"Okay. Well, a long time back, when you two weren't created yet, we were in a great civil war with a group known as the Dark Force. The battles were long and bloody, and the war stretched on for many years. We have defeated them, but they struck back suddenly, going as far as to kill one of our Academy students. Things went haywire after that, and they overthrew us. For some reason the service drones turned against us, and we fled the Massive."

"Wow," Dib said. "And so you ended up here."

Purple nodded. "Yup, pretty much."

"And..." Teth pressed.

Red sighed in defeat. "And- we- we need your help- THERE I SAID IT!" he shouted to Teth. "HAPPY NOW?"

"Very," she replied.

"Gaz, what do you think?" Dib asked, turning to his sister.

"Eh, I guess we could go," she grumbled.

"The humans are com- WAIT! I KNOW THEM!" Purple shouted suddenly.

"Who are they," Red asked exasperatedly.

"THOSE HALFSIES!"

"Ah, I see now," he replied, recognition and surprise showing in his eyes.

"Halfsy?" Dib asked. "What do you mean by that?!"

"So this is where Invader Membrane went..." Purple trailed off.

"MY DAD WASN'T AN INVADER!"

"He must've gotten married to an Earthian-"

_"-hyoo-man-"_ corrected Zim.

"-I knew that," Red finished.

"So you too are halfsies!" Purple finished with a smile.

"I'M PART IRKEN?!" Dib screamed.

"Yes! You are! How long does it take for you to get that through your enormously large head?!" Red yelled.

"My head is not-"

"Shut it, Dib," Gaz growled.

"So. You...arrrreee...parrrrrt...irrrrrrrkennnnnnn...as ssssssss...welllllll...asssssss...hyoooo-

mannnnn." Red stretched the words so the idiotic human would understand him.

"So that explains why I have a squeedily-spooch!" Gaz exclaimed.

Crickets chirped in the silence.

"Moving on..." Zim mumbled.

"So, to sum up this chapter, we need help. How bout it?" Purple asked.

"Can I film you and prove to the human race you're aliens?" Dib asked excitedly.

"You're one too, you know," Teth reminded him.

"Fair point."

"Are there any video games?" asked Gaz.

Purple laughed."That's the stupidest question I've ever heard," he told her.

"What?" Gaz opened one eye warningly. The others backed away.

Thinking that she might not have heard him, Purple said again, "That's the stupidest question I've ever heard."

Gaz punched him in the face so hard he went unconscious.

"Whoa!" Red caught his partner. "What he means is, H*LL YEAH!"

Gaz grinned. "I'm comin'."

Purple woke up. "What about you, zombie?" he asked Teth.

Teth glared at him. "I'm not a zombie!" she hissed,

"Ghost?" he asked.

"I'm not a ghost, either!" Teth growled.

"Spirit? Phantom? Soul? Sprite? Corpse? Re-dead? Inferius?"

"None of those. But you'll be one if you don't shut up."

Purple ignored the veiled threat. "But you're de-"

"My Tallest, I am alive and well, and I never. I- uh, was just in a really long coma. So I'm not a zombie, ghost, spirit, phantom, soul, sprite, corpse, re-dead, or inferius, okay?! What don't you understand about that?!"

"Okay... are you coming then?" he asked.

Teth sighed. "Sure, why not?"

"What about you, Zim?" asked Red.

Zim contemplated for a moment. His eyes narrowed hatefully. "Never," he replied angrily.

**A/N: AN UPDATE?! NO WAY! Well, I actually found some motivation to write this! HOOOOOOSNAP! And a big thanks out there to guest Pie, who, is my bestest friend in real life, who would always refuse to read this fic. I had to BRIBE her to actually read this, and when she did, well... *snickers* she liked what she saw. And she really wanted me to update. So, here y'all go y'all :). Chpater 9 MIGHT NOT COME SOON, BUT THERE'S A 30% POSSIBILITY. I'm gonna be working on LOST, because I've decided to keep it, then I do Shadows Into Light, and then here again. Or maybe just here in like 20 minutes, it depends. But the point is, I don't have a PC to call my own anymore, so just wait and see. Be sure to check out my deviantART - .com :). GOOD NIGHT.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9: Teth really is a zombie?! (and other stuff that make no sense)**

12:31:07, September 15. Location: front of Skool

"What do you mean, 'Never'?! You were obsessed with going since two weeks ago!" Teth was frantic.

"Well, why can't I just back out?" Zim challenged. "Is there any reason why you can't save the Empire without me?!"

"Well-um... It's your- uh, we can't really do this without the 'Amazing Zim', right?" she stammered uncomfortably.

"...I guess you're right..." He shook his head suddenly. "No! They lied to Zim!"

"About what?"

"Everything! My mission! My job! My reason to serve them! MY SIR UNIT KISSED GAZ FOR NOTHING!" Zim shouted.

"Wait- _WHAT?!"_ Gaz shrieked.

"Zim, listen to me-" Red started.

"NO!" Zim roared. He looked down at his shoes. "He was right about you... you're all filthy no good liars!"

"He...?" Purple's face went from confusion to horror. "No! Y-you don't understand-"

"Oh, I understand alright..." Zim's voice was at a dangerously low tone. He looked up. "They were right. Tak, Sizz-lorr!, and everyone else who tried to warn me... they were telling the truth after all..."

"What made you think that they lied?" Teth asked quietly.

"It was a dream I had, last night..."

_"Zim."_

_"Wha- Who are you? What do you want with me?"_

_"Zim, don't you remember? Don't you remember me?" the voice asked._

_"STAY AWAY FROM MY BLOOD!" he screamed, terrified._

_"I- I'm not after your blood." The voice's tone had turned confused._

_Zim turned to the direction of the voice. "So... you're not a vampire?"_

_"WHAT?! No! I hate the taste of blood!"_

_"If you're sure," Zim said uncertainly._

_"I'm irken, not vampire." The voice turned dark. "You- you were my friend once... don't you remember?" The owner of the voice stepped out of the shadows. It was indeed, an irken, yet her face was still in shadow, looking very familiar to him. Very familiar..._

_"Well?" He snapped out of his thoughts._

_"Oh, uh- sorry." Zim grabbed the script out of his pocket and looked through it. "You! You're irken! What is this?!" he yelled stupidly._

_The irken rolled her eyes. "Do you remember or not?!" she snapped._

_"Um...no."_

_"Seriously?! You couldn't have forgotten me that easily!"_

_"But I honestly don't know!" Zim yelped._

_"LIAR!"_

_"It's the truth!"_

_"Wow... You're much stupider than I remember." sighed the irken._

_"What?!"_

_"You're stupider than I remember."_

_"Eh?!"_

_"I CALLED YOU STUPID! NOW CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?!" she shouted._

_"Sure, I guess... wait, did you just called me stupid?!" he asked._

_"Just look into my eyes so we can warp to the past already!"_

_"Okay..." He looked into her eyes, and the world began to spin..._

_In front of them was a younger version of Zim, and the other irken. They appeared to be... running from something. What it was Zim couldn't tell. He glanced at the irken questioningly, but she ignored him, narrowing her eyes as she looked at their past selves._

_"We've got to get out of here! Hurry up! We can make it!" Zim's past version called frantically as he ran._

_"We have to face the truth, Zim. We'll never get there in time," the irken alongside him replied. With a jolt Zim recognized her..._

"Teth?!"_ he asked the irken hiding beside him as they watched the memory. She gave no reply._

_"Still pessimistic as always, I see." Past Zim smiled grimly._

_"We have no time! Our ships are to far away! We'll get shot!" she cried._

_"We'll make it! We must!-" He gasped as he was grabbed by a wire cable from someone's PAK._

_Teth also screamed as a cable shot for her throat. "Anon!" She struggled with the wires strangling her. "Help me!"_

_A SIR unit fighting nearby's antennae pricked, and it spun around. It's dark blue eyes widened in horror, and it flew over, only to get shot down by another SIR unit, it's red eyes glowing dangerously and it's mouth twisted in a sadistic grin._

_"Bring me the traitors..." a voice hissed dangerously. The two struggling irkens were dragged over in front of a red-eyed Control Brain._

_"No use fighting," the voice whispered. "No use..."_

_She was fighting to breathe. "Let- go-" she choked out._

_"This is for your own good, child." Another voice, high and cold, spoke this time._

_"No! It was my fault, and mine alone! Spare her and punish me instead!" Zim shouted._

_"Zim- no!"_

_"Would you like to die as well?!" The voice said sarcastically, rounding on Zim's past version. From what he could see in the dim light the figure had a long black hooded cloak and a pale purple and a red eye._

_"If it means you'll let her go," Zim replied steadily._

_"Yeah... too bad. You can die another time. But, you see, Teth here has a power. A power that I need in order to conquer the universe. You can still save yourself, Zim. Join us." And out from the shadows came someone he thought he would never see again._

_"I-I thought you were dead..." He whispered. "Why are you doing this?"_

_"People change," the arriving irken laughed coldly. He was the same height as Zim and Teth, with a green invader uniform, except his eyes were black with a red gleam. Around his neck was a glowing red amulet. "I am no longer loyal to the irken Empire. The Tallests' reign shall end. And with that, shall end your life." He locked his eyes on Teth as an incredibly sharp knife attached to one of the Control Brain's cables slashed through the air at her flesh, leaving a thin bloody mark from her right eye to her left hip._

_She didn't even have enough air to scream as the cables tightened around her neck. Blood poured from the wound, and she tried desperately to make it stop. The irken only grinned maliciously. Zim thought it was just his imagination, but he swore he saw, in place of the irken, a similar irken with green eyes, but instead of an evil smirk, on his face was a look of shock, horror, and remorse. The vision departed before Zim could testify if it was real or not. The hooded irken nodded at the Control Brain, and it roughly picked up Teth, who was hanging limp from the cables. A blue energy slowly glided out of her body, and with a jolt Zim realized that it was her soul._

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Heeheehee, guess who's back, eh? This chapter was originally one thousand seven hundred something words, so I split it in half! So you get two chapters! Not like anyone cares, but still! And I got three major villains in this chapter that will be appearing a little later on! Yippee kai yay motherfuckers! So please, enjoy the ultimate sadness of this chapter and the next, which I shall be uploading in 5 minutes from now, and enjoy! And please, REVIEW!**


	11. Chapter 11

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ah, please tell me whether I should delete Shadows into Light or not. Vote on my poll in my profile. If no votes I shall just plain delete it. Deadline on September 13th, on Friday. Friday the 13th, wooo.**

**Chapter 10: Defect**

12:46:39, September 15. Location: front of Skool

_They all stared silently with a different expression on their faces; Zim was horrified, the demonic irken had a calculating look on his face, and the hooded irken grinned evilly. She started to laugh maniacally , but stopped abruptly as the Control Brain twitched, and dropped the body. Sparks flew from it, and the blue energy seemed to be surrounding it and causing the problem. With a faint hiss the Control Brain went dead and Teth's soul returned to her body. But she had lost too much blood. The cables uncoiled, and Zim rushed over to help._

_"Z-zim... there's no use. Stop it." She feebly pushed his arm away._

_"You can't leave! You- you can't!" It took all his might to keep himself from wailing aloud._

_"Just... leave me here... and promise- promise me that you won't come back. ...One day, this force shall be stopped. Everything will be alright. Zim... you must save the universe. I know you can."_

_"Don't go..." he whispered, tears streaming down his pale face. But it was too late,; her body drew in one last shaky breath and was still. She was dead._

_In the meantime, the same thing was happening to the real Zim. "THAT WAS SO HEARTBREAKING!" he cried._

_"Watching your girlfriend die in front of you isn't the end of the world," Teth stated obnoxiously and rather unsympathetically. "Even if it's me, " she added._

_"W-why did you show this to Zim?" Zim asked._

_"You broke your promise." Teth stated dryly. Her voice darkened with anger. "It's been 6 years, and the Dark Force still reigns to this day."_

_"I-"_

_"You broke it. You traitor!" And she flew at him, knife at the ready._

"That wasn't dramatic at all," Gaz stated sarcastically.

"DO NOT INTERRUPT THE ZIM! HE IS NOT FINISHED!" Zim shouted.

_His vision faded to black. The demonic irken from his dream was in front of him. Zim tried to attack, but found he couldn't move. The irken's eyes glowed a brilliant green, and Zim found himself entrance. Two familiar irkens appear in front of him now._

_"My Tallest!" He bowed low._

_"Get up, Zim," said Tallest Red coldly. There was something strange about his eyes, his and Purple's. They had no pupils, just blank, staring orbs._

_Zim got up. "Eh, what- what is it that you want? I- I can show you my latest plan to conquer Earth-"_

_"No need." Purple stopped him. Zim glanced up at their menacing, towering forms._

_"You are not an invader, Zim."_

_To which Zim laughed aloud. "Impossible! You assigned me to destroy Earth, as a secret mission, remember?"_

_"We remember," Red growled. "We remember that you were the reason we failed Operation Impending Doom 1. You are a defect!" Zim's eyes widened._ It can't be! I'm not a defect, never was, never will be. It's not true,_ Zim told himself, _It's all lies.

_"I-I'm not a defect, My Tallest," Zim stuttered nervously._

_"Oh, really now?" Purple said sarcastically. "Not a single bit insane, are you? Why of course, because you're Zim," His words hit him like blows._

_"No, no," Zim muttered, holding his antennae. "Not true... lies... not true..." But the hurtful words played over and over in his mind like a broken record. Defect... defect... defect..._

_The two leaders just laughed, maliciously. Defect... defect... defect..._

_"STOP IT!" Zim cried. "IT'S NOT TRUE!"_

_Defect._

_Defect._

_Defect._

"...And then I woke up screaming, but that was just because Gir was drooling in my face," Zim finished.

"But I'm alive! Teth protested. _Or at least I'm pretending to be..._ she thought.

"Ye_a_h, I thought that too, but, hey, let's face it, you're partly see-through," Zim remarked.

Teth looked at her arm. "I guess you're right..."

"Awesome!" Dib pulled out a camera and pointed it at her. "I GOT A RECORDING OF A GHOST-ZOMBIE-ALIEN-THINGIE!"

Teth snatched the camera and crushed it. "Sorry, but no."

_Shoot,_ thought Dib.

"So let me get this straight; You two-" she pointed to the Tallest "-are the Irken leaders, Zim's an alien, Teth's dead-" Teth scowled. "Don't rub it in!" she muttered. "-Tak's returned, the irken Empire has been taken over, my brother's a big-headed idiot halfsie-" "MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" Dib shouted. "- and I'm a video game playing halfsie with a squeedily-spooch and a love for pizza? Is that all?" Gaz asked.

"I- ...guess so," Zim replied, confused.

"THEN LET'S GO KILL THESE MURDERIN' SHIDIG-DOOS!" Gaz shouted.

Crickets chirped in the distance.

"Is that even a word?" Dib asked quietly.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here's the chapter snipped off from the other chapter! Wee! I'm so insane. Anyhoo, this chapter reflects my hatred of LIES! BECAUSE I HATE THEM! THEY MAKE ME CUT!**

**Eh, please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11: Gir on drugs**

2:30:12, September 15. Location: front of Skool

The ground shook. Birds flew out of their nests in a panic. The buildings cascaded to the ground. People shrieked in terror. Earthqua-

No.

D*mn, you guys are so gullible.

"Uh, what's that rumbling sound?" Red asked nervously.

"Ahh! The Skool children are coming!" Zim screamed. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

The group panicked and ran someplace random. The kids poured out ot the school.

"I'm never coming here again," Purple whimpered, clinging to a tree. Red kicked it angrily.

"This has got to be a dream! A horrible, nightmarish dream! ZIM! PINCH ME!" he shouted.

Zim shrugged. "Okay." He pinched him. Red screamed like a little girl. Looking around, and finding that Zim was still there, he said, "Hmm... Zim! I still see you! Pinch me harder!"

Zim pinched him harder.

Red screamed so loud people in Australia could here.

"Ahoy, mate!" an Australian man exclaimed. "What was that sound?"

"Sounds like one of the leaders of the Irken race being pinched by the would-be invader, Zim, mate!" replied a different Australian guy.

Just kidding.

"Sounds like a little girl, mate!" replied a different Australian guy.

"Oh no! What if its my daughter?!"

"We must go!" the second guy declared, and he ran into a tree.

Back in America, Red could still see Zim, and finally realized that it was not a dream but just a really crazy invader zim fanfiction. "Purple... I'm scared," he whispered.

"Enough about it already! Lets just get out of the middle of the road before we get spotted!" Teth snapped.

"First logical statement I've heard this month," Dib muttered.

"We must go!" Zim declared, and he ran into a tree.

* * *

"HIYA ZIMMEH!" Gir zoomed into him, pushing him over. "GIR! WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT ARE YOU D-"

"GAZZZZZZZZYYYYYY!" Gir immediately flew off the enraged Zim and latched himself onto the human girl.

"Get off me or I will plunge you into a nightmare world in which there is no-"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY I LIKE NIGHTMARE WORLDS!" Gir shouted excitedly. "TETHY! DIBBEH! TALLESTEH!"

"Don't you dare-" Teth was cut off as he zoomed into her chest. "Ow, my spooch... here, you take him." She grabbed a crowbar, pried him off, and handed him to Dib.

"Why me?" Dib sighed exasperatedly as he tried and failed to get the robot puppy off him.

"Thank the _Lord_ you're here, Mistress." Zim picked himself up from the floor of his base and saw-

"Youuuuuu- wait, who are you, anyways?" Zim asked, lowering his fist. Inside the base was a small silver wolf, with darker gray markings, and dark blue eyes. On his paw the numbers 649 was engraved.

"Oh, dis? DIS IS MY KITTY FRIEND! HE'S SO FLUFFEH!" Gir exclaimed while hugging the wolf very tightly.

"Not a cat," Anon said, finally able to tug himself free from the crazy SIR unit. He glanced contemptuously up at Teth. "Took you long enough."

"Sorry. I didn't expect for the leaders of the irken race to fall out of the sky," she retorted.

"Wha- oh sweet mother of the-" He stared in awe at the Tallest. Like most of the irken race, the Tallest are quite rare to come by, and that goes especially for SIR units. He finally tore his eyes away from them and glared at Zim. "By the way, have you realized your robot is drunk?"

"He- what?!" Zim spun around and finally noticed the pile of empty bottles in front of the TV.

"Yup," the robot said, his eyes narrowed. "He kidnapped me and literally _dragged_ me over here. You're lucky I didn't shoot him yet."

"Hey, where did you get that beer, Gir?" Dib asked.

"Zim's basement," he squeaked, before passing out.

"YOU STOLE YOUR MASTER'S BEER?!" Zim angrily picked up the unconscious disguised robot and shook him.

"HA! Not only are you an illegal alien, literally, and trying to take over the world, but you're also an underage drinker! The police will hear about this!" Dib shouted victoriously.

"Why didn't you stop him?!" Zim demanded to Anon.

"Oh, I was supposed to stop him, wasn't I?" he asked sarcastically. "You know, as if he wouldn't strangle me and lock me downstairs. I see now."

"Worse than your mistress," Zim muttered. "You would think at least one person would stop being sarcastic for once-"

"Alert! Tak is in range- 96 million miles from our solar system," the Computer stated.

"You have a tracking device on her?" Anon smirked.

"Oh shut up, you stupid pile of scrap metal!" growled Zim. He turned to the Computer, looked back at all the people stifling laughter, coughed, and narrowed his eyes. "That's nice, Computer," he muttered. "Very pleasant indeed."

"You're scared of her, aren't you?" Dib said knowingly.

Zim blushed. "No... I-I AM ZIM! ZIM IS SCARED OF NO ONE! NO ONE!" Gaz whispered something to Teth. An illusion of Tak appeared in place of the brown-haired girl.

"I mean, she's not even that powerful! And my plans were way better than that stoo-pid snack pla-" He saw the illusion and ran away screaming.

"This will go perfect on Youtube," Gaz said devilishly.

"Hide the camera, he's coming back," Teth warned.

"So, um..." Zim blushed. "...that's normal you know."

They burst into laughter.

"SHE'S BEEN SENDING ME DEATH THREATS ALRIGHT? AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT BE AFRAID OF HER?!" Zim shouted.

Teth stopped laughing immediately. "She's been sending you death threats?!"

"Observe, Zim said coldly. The TV turned on, showing a purple-eyed alien with a wave-breaker on her head. Her antennae was curled at the ends.

"You may have won last time, Zim, but I'm warning you now, things will be different," Tak snarled from the screen. "I will be upon you when you least expect. You will not survive this time. And you will pay for ruining me. You will pay with your life!"

**A/N: WELL FCK MY BUTT AND CALL ME A WHORE. DEM FOLLOWS AND FAVES AND REVIEW AND HOLY CRAP. I- WOW. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. OH DAMN THE CAP LOCK'S STILL ON ISN'T IT. OH WELL. NEXT CHAP COMING SOON I GUESS, THANK YOU ALL FOR THE AMAZING TURN OF EVENTS, MAKE SURE TO ANSWER MY POLL. I LOVE YOU ALL BYE BYE NOW.**

**BY THE WAY, I STOLE THE WAVE-BREAKER THING FROM AZULA ALWAYS LIES. WEE.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: HAPPY 9-NNIVERSARY EVERYONE! HOORAY FOR 9! :D**

**Chapter 12: And now...**

2:47:34, September 15. Location: Zim's base

"See?!" Zim exclaimed. "DEATH THREAT, RIGHT THERE!"

Teth slapped him, grabbed him by his wig, and glared at him, her face no less than two inches from his. "Okay. Here's the plan," she growled, "We'll head to Irk. In the meantime, I'll put a spell on her tracking device to make it seem like you're on Earth. That should buy us some time before she catches up to us. And when she does- we'll think of something then. How does that sound?"

Zim perked up right away. "BRILLIANT! A PLAN ALMOST AS WORTHY AS MINE!" he shouted.

"Well let's just go. It's been 2 weeks, and this time, there's nothing to delay us," Teth sighed.

"Finally! It gets boring without a Gameslave," Gaz said while glaring at Dib.

"Hey!" Dib protested. 'You were the one who-"

"-Oh who cares! We gotta go before she finds me! Computer! Ready the Voot!" Zim commanded.

"Later." Teth calmly walked away, her SIR Unit giving one last glare at Zim before heading after his mistress.

"Well, lets go, Purp. And this time _I'll_ steer," said Red.

"Hey!"

"If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be here! On Earth! With- _him!"_ Red pointed down down at the short irken otherwise known as Zim.

"I can hear you, you know," snapped Zim.

Purple ignored him. "Yes, but you were the one who wouldn't let me bring the donuts!" he whined. The pair walked away to their ship, bickering.

"Well, I guess I'll go, too," said Dib as he walked away to his house, Gaz following.

Zim looked around to check if no one was there, and smirked. "Now... time to work on my ne- er... last evil plan..."

Dib jumped out behind Zim. "I HEARD THAT, SPACEBOY!"

"Geez, Dib-stink, you scared the living daylights out of me!" Zim exclaimed.

"I scared the great Zim, huh?" Dib smirked.

"Well yeah, that humongous head is quite frightening at times," Zim retorted.

"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" yelped Dib, right before Zim whacked him with a soda can and knocked him unconscious.

* * *

And so he remained unconscious, until about an hour later, when the group had just flown out of the Earth's atmosphere. At this point, he was acting like a 6 year-old on Christmas morning.

"OH WOW!" squealed Dib. "THIS IS SO COOL! I'M IN- I'M IN AN ALIEN SPACESHIP! I'M DRIVING AN ALIEN SPACESHIP! I'M EATING NACHOS WHILE SITTING IN THE ALIEN SPACESHIP WHICH I'M DRIVING! I'M-"

"Shut your mouth, human. We have long-distance communication so I can hear every word you're saying. And its really messing up my driving," said Teth.

"And the only thing worse than that is to be in the same spaceship he's in," added Gaz.

"Thank God I have no brothers."

"Yeah. Irkens are lucky."

Teth shrugged. "I guess."

Dib had apparently gotten an illness when you can only talk in caps lock "I KNOW, BUT I'M-"

"Shut your noise tube, hyoo-man worm baby! I've heard enough of your filthy mouth, filled with- CORN!" Zim shouted.

"But I'm eating nachos," said Dib.

"LIAR!"

"Hoboy," Anon said, rolling his eyes. Teth saw that he was typing on a computer behind her.

"Whatcha doing?" she asked.

"N-nothing! Just, ah- playing a game," he muttered, turning so she couldn't see the screen.

"Uh-huh... you know, if you were a puppet your nose would be twice as long as Pinocchio's right now."

"Yes, but I'm not a puppet now am I?" He looked up at her, eyes guarded. "...Just a SIR unit... playing a game..." _...Flirting with my girlfriend,_ he thought.

"HAH! I KNEW IT!" shouted Teth, smirking at her SIR unit, who has face-palming himself for forgetting the fact that she was a mind reader.

"Knew what?" Zim asked.

"Um..." She looked at Anon, who was glaring daggers at her while blushing furiously at her, and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "Nothing-I just- uh... never mind."

"Thank you," he whispered.

Zim shrugged and turned to Dib. "GO HOME AND SHAVE YOUR FILTHY HEAD OF SMELL WITH YOUR BAD SELF!"

"But I don't wanna go home," Dib said.

"Oh okay- WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD!"

"What is this, an Invader Zim marathon?!" Gaz snapped. "Just shut up; your voices are making me_ sick."_

"You just said one," Teth said.

"Said a quote? You mean, 'It's making me _sick?'"_

"Yeah."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's okay." Teth smiled. "But those quotes were making me _sick."_ Gaz laughed.

"Are we there yet?!" Dib asked irritably.

"Of course we are," Teth said sarcastically. "Matter of fact, we've actually passed it. Honestly, Dib, I'd expect some more brain power for someone with a head as big as that."

"What's with that human's head, anyways?" Purple said absentmindedly. "It's like, huge."

"Hey! My head's not big!" protested Dib.

Red ignored him. "I dunno," he said, "but it's almost as big as the Massive, it seems."

"It can't be that big! It may be big but not THAT big..."

"So you admit it?" Teth asked.

"Dib's right," Zim said unexpectedly. "It's not as big as the Massive..."

"Hm?"

"-Because it's BIGGER than it!"

Everyone besides Dib cracked up.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH QUIT MAKING FUN OF MY HEEEEEEAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD!" Dib cried, running out of the room.

"He's in a ship; he can't run out of the room," Teth said.

Ah, yes. Sorry. Writer's mistake.

"Guys," Gaz said. "There's a ship out there. ...And it's stalking us."

Red spun around, and narrowed his eyes. "Oh no, no them," he groaned.

"Who is it?" Zim asked.

"The Resisty."

**A/N: AND HOORAY FOR NAMELESS SIR UNITS ON FERAL-HEART AS WELL! AND YES, HE ACTUALLY DOES HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, AND A FERAL-HEART ACCOUNT! WELP, SEE YA LATER.**


	14. Chapter 14

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: No time skip, just time moving fast in the last chapter.**

**Chapter 13: Because It's Not Google**

3:14:28, September 27. Location: Outer Space

"Okay, this is it!" shouted Lard Nar. "Because we totally failed during the first mission, we're starting over. A new ship, a new name-" He glared at Spleenk. "-and a better plan!"

The others moaned. "Aw, we liked that name!"

"The Resisty?! That's just stupid! I wanted something _scary!"_ he said.

"How 'bout the Pirate Monkeys?" Shloonktapooxis smiled hopefully at their leader.

Lard Nar facepalmed. "I told you before, NO!"

"We should keep the Resisty!" Spleenk declared. The others nodded, looked at Lard Nar.

"Fine," he sighed.

"HOORAY!" Confetti magically shot out from the ceiling.

Lard Nar rolled his eyes and scoffed, "You guys are so re-" He froze as the call tracker beeped. The Tallest were hailing them. He screamed. "THEY'RE HAILING US! QUICK! GET READY!"

Red's voice sounded on the interface. "Hello?" he asked. "Mr. Thai food guy? Hello?"

"We- are the RESISTY!" bellowed a deep-voiced hooded figure.

"Yeah, yeah, we know," Purple waved his hand dismissively.

"And I'm not a thai food guy!" retorted the figure.

"Well, Lard Nar is a type of thai food, so what the heck, right?" Purple shrugged.

"But I am leader of the Resisty! I am no thai food!" protested the hooded figure, who was obviously Lard Nar.

"Wait, the Resisty? You didn't change it?"

"Well, we-"

"It's still a stupid name, you know," Red scoffed.

Lard Nar's voice climbed back to it's higher octave. "I TOLD HIM IT WAS STUPID!"

"Why do you even listen to him?" Purpled asked.

Lard Nar scratched his head. "I dunno," he said.

"DESTROY THEM!" Red shouted. The Resisty screamed in terror. Lard Nar ripped off his cloak.

"Stay calm!" he shouted, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. "We must defeat them while they aren't in the Massive!"

"BUT SIR! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Shloonktapooxis screamed, before adding a feeble, "I donwannadie..."

"Just fire the laser!" Lard Nar ordered. Shloo did a mock salute, which was strange because had no arms, and began to fire.

"Who are they, anyways?" Teth asked.

"A resistance," Red growled, "if you could even call it tha-"

"YAY I'M GONNA BE SICK!" Gir screamed.

Dib looked up from the ship's controls. "Hey wait a minute- according to my research, that thai food guy's a vor-"

"NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID RESEARCH!" Gaz snarled.

"-Well, he's a vortian," Dib finished quietly.

"And one of the only ones left, too," Lard Nar replied grimly. He paused. "And I'm still not a thai food guy!"

"What's with your legs, though?" Dib continued. "They're all... zig-zaggy."

"Y-You're right, I-" He glared. " THIS IS NO TIME TO COMMENT ABOUT MY LEGS! I'm trying to destroy the Almighty Tallest!"

"Because they destroyed almost all the Vortians and forced the survivors into slavery?" Anon asked.

"Yes, exactly. How'd you know all that?"

"I'm just smart like that," Anon replied triumphantly. Teth gave him a long look. "Well, I- er, I just googled it a couple seconds ago," he admitted.

"You use Google?" Red asked. "I thought everyone used Bing, according to the commercials."

"Bing's a load of bullsh*t," said Teth. "Besides, that only applies to the humans."

"Fair point. I've realized that generally everyone uses Google more," Zim added.

"Because It's Not Google." Dib smiled. "Hey, that should be a song title." Everyone glared at him. "What? Is there anything bad about that being a song title?" he demanded.

Teth shook his head sadly. "You are the strangest alien creature I have ever met. Besides the thai food over there," she said, motioning to the Resisty ship.

"For the last f*cking time, I am NOT thai food!" Lard Nar shouted.

"Whatever."

Lard Nar, glared at her. "You-" Suddenly a laser flies inches from all of the ships.

"What was that?!" Zim jumped, frightened, and looked around wildly.

"We're being attacked!" Purple shouted. "Put up the defenses!"

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Shloo screamed.

Lard Nar grabbed the alien by it's head. "Listen, Shloo," the vortian growled, "for the last time. WEARENOTGONNADIEWHYDOYOUKEEPSCREAMINGTHATITSGETTIN GONMYNERVES!"

"Ooh, that's a pretty big laser behind us," Shloo remarked, completely obvious of the death glare Lard Nar was sending him.

"What laser?!" Lard Nar spun around and saw a huge laser cannon behind all the ships. "...WE'RE GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"So much for not dying," Teth murmured.

Frankly, everyone except for Teth, Gaz, and Anon ran around their ships in a panic. Gaz only glared at her brother and muttered, "You're such an idiot."

"Everyone, stay calm, for Lord's sake!" Anon shouted.

"Yeah, for f*cks sake, it's not firing, alright?!" Teth added.

"If you're sure," Zim said, sitting back down and glancing warily at the laser cannon. Seeing in a currently inactive mode calmed him down, and he sighed peacefully.

Then the cannon fired, and all the ships plunged down onto the cold, rocky planet currently beneath them.

"Yes, Teth. We are NOT going to DIE. I'll RELAX now," Dib said sarcastically.

"Fair point. I did get that information from Bing after all," Teth replied thoughtfully.

Anon glared at her. "BING USER!"

"Hey, Google stopped working, what choice did I have?"

The ships crashed into the planet. Zim groaned and pulled himself out of his now crushed Voot.

"Wh- what happened?" he whispered, finding it hard to breathe because of his damaged spooch.

"A silly illusion couldn't stop me from finding you, Zim." The ship landed, and out from the cockpit came someone Zim never thought he'd find...

"Tak..."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Chapter 13, posted on the 13th of Friday. Woo. Uh... well, no offense to Bing users, but for me, it sucks. I'm Google all the way. And also I decided to get rid of that long Gir rant to... an even longer rant about search engines. I'm dumb, right? Uh, sorry for not being able to post sooner, I had tons of requests and homework and crap. Next chap comes soon.**


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